Meet Asher James

I have been meaning to do a profile of each of the babies for awhile now, but as usual, finding the time has been an issue!  I know they are going to keep changing, but I want to remember how wonderful they are at this age (not to mention how different they are)!

Asher James was born on 10/2/09 at 2:36 PM.  He weighed only 4 pounds 14 ounces, and was 18.5 inches long.  I did not get to officially meet him until he was about 8 hours old, because they took him away to the NICU after a brief assessment in the operating room.  He obtained APGAR scores of 8 at 1 minute and 5 minutes, but he was "retracting" and "grunting" a bit when breathing, so they wanted to make sure he was OK.  Luckily, that resolved itself, and he never required oxygen.  When I finally was wheeled up to the NICU to meet him, I remember Eric was talking to someone for (what I felt was) too long, and I sort of snapped, "Come on, I haven't even met him yet!"  Eric and some of his family had already been there to see him, but I hadn't!  We signed in, washed our hands (as best as I could from the wheelchair - I was still VERY sore) and Eric wheeled me through the hallway and past all of the nursery rooms.  I wondered which room he would be in.  We finally reached the room, and there were several babies in the room.  Some in isolettes, and some not.  I saw a little baby in an isolette that looked like it could be him, but Eric kept on wheeling.  He stopped at a non-isolette crib, and there was a tiny baby wearing just a diaper in there.  He had some monitors strapped to his chest and was under warming lights.  I expected him to be sleeping (being born is tiring!), but no - he was wide awake, just studying everything that was going on around him.  It really surprised me to see his eyes wide open!  He seemed to be just taking it all in.  To me, after studying his "little" brother for the last few hours, Asher seemed to look just like him, just a little smaller.  We didn't know they were identical at this point, and assumed they were fraternal because of the type of twins they were (Di-Di), but I started to wonder at that moment.

I was able to visit Asher a few times over the next two days.  I had to coordinate someone to wheel me down to the NICU as well as someone to stay with Felix in our room.  Luckily, Eric's mom, the new grandma, was always there to help.  I loved being with him, but I hated that he had to be in that place.  I was so overtaken by hormones at that point, that I just cried every time I saw him with all those monitors on him.  I knew I was being ridiculous - he was by FAR the least sick baby in that room.  Right next to him was a set of boy/girl twins who had been there for months and were still quite sick.  Their parents seemed so well-adjusted somehow, and yet here I was blubbering about my pretty healthy boy.  I hated to spend time in there, but at the same time I hated that he was by himself a lot of the time.  Luckily, Eric went to the NICU for every scheduled feeding at least, and my father-in-law spent a lot of time with him, because he too couldn't stand for Asher to be alone.  I couldn't wait for him to be released.  The day the boys were born, the NICU staff told us that he should be released from their care that night.  Then, it was the next morning.  Then, that afternoon.  And so on.  Although he was breathing perfectly on his own, they were trying to feed him a bottle and he was not eating well.  I tried to nurse him once, and although he latched well, it tired him out so much that they placed a nasogastric tube for the next feeding to make sure he got enough calories.  He didn't need it for more than one feeding, thank goodness.  However, he remained a slow eater (little did we know that was a trait that would continue!), but eventually they felt comfortable enough releasing him to the care of the regular newborn nursery staff.  I was so happy to hear that news.  It was two days after the boys were born, and I was hanging out with Asher, just holding him in my wheelchair and staring at his tiny features (and probably crying).  The doctor came over and said that all he needed was phototherapy for jaundice, and they could do that in the regular nursery.  We had just been told that Felix would also need phototherapy, so they could do it together.  Even though I had been expecting him to be released on the day he was born, I was getting used to not having a straight answer about when he would be OK to join his brother, so I was so overjoyed and surprised to hear this news out of the blue!  When he was wheeled into our room, after finally being cleared to leave, it was almost exactly 48 hours after they were born.  It was such a beautiful moment, finally having both boys together!  I don't think Eric and I could have been any happier.

As Asher has grown, he has changed a lot, but at the same time he has held on to a lot of his initial traits.  He is still so observant of everything around him - to the point of distraction!  If he is eating, and someone talks behind him, he will stop and twist his head as far as he can to see what happened.  And, like when he was a newborn, he has continued to not show a lot of interest in eating.  We have had to watch carefully how many ounces he eats everyday to make sure he gets enough.  He would just rather be doing other things - looking around, smiling, babbling.  This is cute, but it causes mommy and daddy constant worry and stress about how well he is growing.  We are looking forward to the day when he finds some food that he loves and actually wants to eat!

Perhaps because of his short stint in the NICU, where he had to wait for attention from the nurses or family members, Asher is the most patient and easy-going baby I have ever seen.  Everyone comments on this when they meet him.  He is rarely fussy, and if he cries, we know something is really wrong.  If his brother is crying for attention in his crib, Asher will undoubtedly be wide awake in his crib too - but just lying there chewing on his hands or his monkey toy, babbling, or squealing with delight (we call it his dinosaur noise).  He smiles brightly as soon as he sees mommy or daddy, and usually also gives us a little "dinosaur" noise for good measure.  He laughs easily and often, and loves to fly on the "airplane" of mommy's legs when she's on the floor, or to be held high in the air.  He even laughs when we wipe his face after eating (since he usually lets a lot of milk dribble down his chin), or when changing his clothes!  It is somehow the funniest thing on earth to have his arms go through his sleeves!

Asher loves books - whether to be read to, or to chew on his crinkly soft book (which is his current favorite toy). He also loves to hold rattles, and shakes them and of course chews on them.  He is very adept at reaching for toys, grasping them, and bringing them to his mouth.  Sometimes, when he's hanging out in the playpen with dangling toys, he will grab a toy and just examine it from all angles.  Asher was the first to roll over (from his tummy to his back), and he is able to roll from his back to his tummy, but he chooses not to most of the time.  While his brother was struggling and struggling to learn this skill, Asher just sat back and watched, and one day decided to try it and did it perfectly.  He loves to hang out on his tummy, supported by his elbows, with his head held high so he can see the whole room.  He kicks his little legs while he's in this position, and this sight always reminds me of a pre-teen at a slumber party gossiping with her friends!  He also enjoys standing up with us supporting him, and is learning to sit now too.

Asher is always talking away to himself or to us, and has started making syllable sounds like "Ya" and "La."  He thinks it's hilarious to hear me say, "Ma ma ma, da da da!"  He loves to stick out his tongue, and will imitate us if we do this too.

Asher may be our little guy, but he has a big presence and we couldn't possibly love him more.  He will undoubtedly do great things in his life, and we cannot wait to see how he continues to grow and change.  We love you Asher James!