Back to work

I have been back to work full time now for a week.  It is surreal to be back - I discovered that the world kept turning while I had babies!  As I sat at my desk for the first time, sans a humongous belly, it was like nothing ever happened.  (Well, except for the pictures of the babies that are proudly displayed now!)  There were phone calls to make, emails to check, meetings to have, children to see.  However, as a school psychologist, I am really lucky to work for a school system, which not only means I have great hours for a working mom, but also means I am surrounded by women - many of whom have children and understand how difficult it was to return to work after maternity leave (as well as my need to pump during the day!).

I think I have handled the transition well though.  I only cried a few tears before I left for work on the first day - putting the babies down for their first morning nap, among all of their coos and smiles, I was overcome by how incredibly cute and amazing they are and how much I would miss during the day.  It may seem odd, but it helped to force myself to remember how stressed I felt during some days of my leave when I was by myself trying to feed two screaming babies!  The boys are generally very easy-going babies, but when they're hungry, they let you know!  It is much easier for someone else to feed them, actually, because they can just sit them both in their seats and feed each a bottle.  When I am home I either nurse both of them at the same time, or I nurse one while bottle feeding the other.  That takes some juggling!  There were times when both babies had trouble latching, or spit up on me, or were insatiably hungry - I broke down in tears on more than one occasion out of frustration, stress, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy...you name it, I felt it.  So, although I hate to leave my babies all day, I actually feel a lot less stress when I am home with them.  I have been out of the house, had interactions with adults, enjoyed an uninterrupted cup of coffee, dressed in real clothes.   I also am able to enjoy the little moments with them so much more because I know they are limited.

It helps that I know they are getting amazing childcare while I am at work!  We found a fabulous nanny, Becky, who has been a nanny for over 20 years and has even cared for two sets of twins before.  We were really lucky to find her - who knew craigslist could be good for more than selling your old TV?  She is with the babies on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Eric is able to stay with them on Tuesday and Thursday, since he is in graduate school and has a little flexibility in scheduling his classes and work.  I think it is great that he has this opportunity - not many dads are (willing or) able to fully partake in the care of their kids, and I hope their relationship is stronger because of it.

Asher

Felix

As for the babies, they are growing and changing everyday!  They are now too tall for their 0-3 month clothes, so we broke out the 3-6 month collection this weekend.  At last weight check (with our home scale), Asher was almost 12 pounds while Felix was over 13.  They both are beginning to be able to grab and hold on to a toy (like a rattle), although it's not quite purposeful yet (i.e., they're not reaching for things).  They do bat at toys hanging near them though, which is the first step.  They are both smiling up a storm, and starting to giggle as well.  We hear lots of cooing - especially from Asher, who is the patient brother and can entertain himself for several minutes by kicking and cooing in his crib in the morning while I nurse Felix and he waits for daddy to bring him a bottle.  I have to plan ahead and get a video of that one of these mornings!  In the meantime, here is a video of both babies hanging out yesterday.  I took a video before this one, but they were so distracted by the camera that they wouldn't smile or talk!  I was a little more covert with this video so you get to see some cute stuff (including the ever present spit-up...sorry!).  Enjoy!